Honda: day sixteen

Today I…

…went to class even though I realllllly didn’t want to. Aced the fuck out of the pop quiz, too. 

…really, seriously considered dropping my Drawing class that I fucking hate so much, but when I told the people I sit with (M, L, and E), they all protested really emphatically, and M even said that I was the thing that kept him pushing himself in the class. I was really flattered. 

…was still considering (still am, kinda) dropping Drawing, but then, we worked on a 3 hour drawing for the whole class, and my teacher, who is almost never complimentary (rather, he’s brusque and efficient and says things like, “Nope, your cone is too tall, fix it,” and keeps walking) stopped by my bench and said, “That’s looking really good, what do you think needs to be done to it?” And I said, “I don’t know. I never really feel like I know what I’m doing in this class.” And then I pointed out like ten flaws in my piece. He sort of looked confused and surprised, and he was like, “Well, that looks really good, really on track— you could maybe narrow the cone or the pitcher down a little, but it’s looking really good to me.” 

…was feeling a little more confident about my drawing, and started playing with line quality, because he’s always telling us to do that, and he came over and helped me a little bit (which is normal), and I worked on it until the end-ish of class, when it was time for a quick group critique. I put mine up, and he points to the ones around it, and he says, “There’s a lot of good stuff happening in all these drawings right here, see— here— but they’re really overshadowed by this one—” points to mine, “—why is that? It’s the line quality and the sense of depth.” And then he goes on, picking mine out as the best one. Repeatedly. I was baffled, but managed not to turn neon red or get awkward or anything. I still don’t feel like I have any idea what I’m doing in that class, but I went from wanting to cry, hating it so much, to feeling a tiny bit better about myself. Admittedly, Thursday we’re gonna start drawing fabric, which sounds horrible, but I’m letting myself bask. 

…dressed up really pretty despite not having a date or anything today. I wore a black and white patterned mini dress, stockings, black heels, bright red lipstick, and a bright red fake rose in my hair. 

…talked a lot more than usual during Drawing with the people beside me and got to know them a little better. 

…ran into E after class and invited him to come watch Thor with me and my friends tonight. He said yes, and came over a little while later. I was confident in myself enough to wear my pajamas in front of him (though I kept my lipstick on, because it matched my red pajamas) and we all hung out and watched the movie. He had to leave before it was over, but he was really cool, and I like him a lot. It’d be really nice if he started to hang out with us more. 

…invited L and M (and E) to double hipster night tomorrow night. All said they’d try to be there. L seemed most sure she could come. If none of them end up coming, it’s whatever, but they all seemed like they actually wanted to hang out with me, so that was really nice. They all complimented my art a lot, too, and that made me feel really good, because they’re all really good at drawing, and it’s nice to get compliments from peers. 

…got a compliment on the rose I wore in my hair from a girl I always think dresses really well and looks fancy, and managed to be really graceful in taking the compliment. 

…wandered the hall with V and A after everyone left, looking for R’s ex’s room because we felt like it. We ran into a lot of boys who were clearly alone on Valentine’s day, and booooooooy did they check me out. Like, they looked at me like they were HUNGRY. It was AWESOME. I shook my ass a lot and smiled and said hi to most of them— even talked to two of them who were in the stairwell with us at one point, and said to him, “I like your hair, it’s big!” It was great.